i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
