u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
