She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He shit in the fireplace
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
