Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
