the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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