so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
