just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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