somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
