Three words: puerto rican gang bang
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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