Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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