Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize