kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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