Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
