Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
