she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
