Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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