Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
