i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize