im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
