watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
