We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
