I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
