In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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