I forgot how hot balto sounded
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
