I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The struggles of a small town man whore
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