did you get engaged???
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
