Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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