well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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