the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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