It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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