Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
