If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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