i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize