do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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