How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize