How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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