I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
