What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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