New invention idea: vibrating tampons
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
