I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize