she looked like the before picture.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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