Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
