Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
