the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
A+ Viking dick
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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