if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Go christen that room with your naked body.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
