I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
