how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
