singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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