Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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