yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
