Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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