He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
