Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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