names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
