I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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