i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
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