I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
