I'm drive I can fine osifer
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
home. puking in laundry basket.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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