dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
