Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
