When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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