You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
