After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize