I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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