What did we do last night that was yellow?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
