You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
