hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
