look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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