No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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