Will you blow on my dice?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
