wake up i wanna do it froggy style
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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