I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
