Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
