I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
