There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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