I wish they made helmets for livers.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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