"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
