I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Are my feet made of real feet?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
