so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
