I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
